Ponder This

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with Civil Rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by southerners.
Both were succeeded by southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by there three names.
Both names contain 15 letters.

Lincoln was shot at a theater named Ford.
Kennedy was shot in a Lincoln made by Ford.

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Both assassins were killed before they went to trial.

Coincidence or Conspiracy?

Another Win

I sat again in a 6 player cash game last night and had the poker gods on my side from the very start. Within the first few hands I doubled up when I hit my open ended straight draw on the river while my opponent had trip eights. Then a little bit later I raised before the flop with pocket tens and was called by two players. A jack came on the flop but I bet out anyway, one opponent folded, the other had Ace-Jack and I made three tens on the turn to double up again and win a $200 pot. . I don't usually get such good runs of cards but in a matter of just a few hands last night, I was dealt 2-2, 3-3, 4-4, 6-6, J-J (twice and won both times with them) as well as A-K and A-Q for good measure. After that people started to back off a bit, leary of every bet I made and it was harder for me to get paid off with winning hands. I started feeling really tired around 11:30 and I gave notice I'd be leaving at midnite. I cashed out with a nice win for the second week in a row and headed home for some needed sleep.

I know this guy who plays poker and one day he started to hear a voice in his head saying " Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money and move to Vegas".
He ignored the voice.
Later in the day he hears the same voice, "Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money and move to Vegas".
Again he ignores the voice.
Soon he hears the voice every minute of every day, "Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money and move to Vegas".
He can't take it anymore. He believes the voice.
He quits his job, sells his house, takes all his money and flies to Las Vegas.
As soon as he steps off the plane the voice says, "Go to the Horseshoe Casino".
He catches a cab downtown and walks into the Horseshoe.
The voice says, "use your money to buy a seat in the World Series of Poker".
He puts up $10,000 and buys a seat in the tournament.
He goes to his assigned table and seat just as the tournament is starting.
The first hand is dealt and he looks down at the Ace of diamonds and the Ace of spades.
The voice says "Go all in!"
He pushes his entire stack of $10,000 into the pot.
Three players call.
The dealer lays down the flop which is 8-9-10, all hearts.
The voice says, "Oh shit!"

Update

I sat in a 6 player cash game last night in Wallingford and played well. My reads were pretty solid except for two or three hands where I most certainly folded the best cards but there just wasn't enough value in the pot to call the bet. I made some great hands where I got paid off and made some nice bluffs without getting caught. I started at about 9:45pm and I cashed out at 2:30am with 4.5 times my original buy-in and thats when the game ended.

Friday night was Ted's annual Media 5-Miler BBQ which was alot of fun as usual. It was great to see CNN and AKJN there, too.

OK, One More Gambling Joke

The IRS decides to audit Tim, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Tim shows up with his attorney. The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Tim. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Tim says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."

Tim removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Tim says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

The auditor can tell Tim isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Tim removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Tim's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Tim asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and piss into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Tim stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Tim's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. "Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Tim told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over an IRS official's desk and that you'd be happy about it."

Now That's a Poker Player

Two couples were playing poker one evening.
John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up he noticed that Bill's wife, Pam, was not wearing any underwear under her dress.
Shocked by this, John tried to sit back up and hit his head on the table.
He emerged red-faced and headed to the kitchen to get some refreshements. Bill's wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything you liked under there?"
Surprised by her boldness, John admitted that he indeed did see something he liked.
She said, "Well, you can have it, but it's going to cost you $100".
After taking a moment to consider the offer, John confirmed that he was indeed interested.
She tells him that her husband works on Fridays and since John didn't he should come by the house Friday around 2 pm.
When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house at the appointed time and after paying Pam the agreed upon $100, they went into the bedroom and consumated the deal.
John then quickly got dressed and left.
As usual, Bill came home from work on Friday around 6pm and upon entering the house asked his wife, "Did John come by the house this afternoon?"
With a lump in her throat Pam answered, "Why yes he did stop by for a few minutes".
Her heart nearly skipped a beat when he asked, " and did he give you $100?"
In terror she assumed he somehow found out about their meeting and after mustering her best poker face replied, "as a matter of fact he did give me $100".
With a satisfied look on his face Bill told his wife, "Good, I was hoping he did. John stopped by my office this morning and asked to borrow $100 from me. He promised me he'd stop by the house this afternoon and pay me back!"

Now that my friend's is a poker player!

A Brutal Final Hand

Last night I played in the Wallingford home game and things started out very nice. I have a pretty tight table image over there and that has allowed me to get away with some nice bluffs. I try not to push it too much and if I get caught I go back to my usual tight play, but last night it seemed like nobody wanted to tangle with me. I did hit a snag when I tried to get tricky and limped in (didn't raise pre-flop) with pocket aces and when two fours came on the flop I knew I had let a crappy hand in for free and it was going to cost me. I was right and almost left as we were only going to play for another hour. I decided to rebuy and within 30 minutes had more than doubled my stack again when the final hand came up. Of course, at the time I didn't know it would be the final hand.
I was in the small blind and called the bet with 3-4 offsuit. It looked like the big blind checked (I thought he motoioned with his hand) and the dealer thought so, too and even asked him at which time he decided to make a weak raise of $5. I quickly called as I had been able to get this player to dump hands off to me earlier. The flop came Q-2-3 all hearts. Now this is a dangerous board for 3-4 even if I had a heart, which I didn't. I bet anyway to see where I was at and the player called. Now I figure he probably has at least one heart and is looking to make his flush. The 4 of hearts comes on the turn and now I have two pair but I know he made his flush, I bet again thinking if he doesn't have the nut flush (Ace high) he might be worried by my bet. He called again so I know he has a flush, just not sure how strong it is and I have 4 outs to the full house anyway. The river is a black 3 making me a full house, threes full of fours, beating a flush, of course. I decide to bet strong and make him think I am bluffing, and there are actually only two possible cards he could be holding in his hand that can beat me. I bet out $40 and he pushes all in, I had to call and the pot is now about $400. Of course he turns over the only two cards that can beat my hand, the ace and five of hearts for a straight flush and the absolute nuts! I can't call this a bad beat as I shouldn't have played the hand in a raised pot (even a weakly raised pot like this one) and I shouldn't have been chasing a four-outer either. It was just a bad hand, it still sucks, but I did it to myself. Of course 99+% of the time I take that nice pot down so I can't really complain. Needless to say, not one of my better nights as far as final results go, but I actually played well for the session overall (not including this hand or the pocket aces earlier) and in the long run playing well and making the right decisions leads to positive results at year end which is what it is all about.

Life's a Beach

Even though it rained most of the time, my first trip to the beach this year was still enjoyable. I even managed to get a little sunburn on Sunday. On Friday night I had the ritualistic slices at Mack & Manko's and a little soft serve to top it off. Saturday was raining so I headed to AC and instead of hitting my usual haunts, The Taj and Borgata, I decided to check out the new poker room at the Hilton. It's a nice space and even has some windows, but the hosts have a lot to learn about running a poker room. They were spreading only low limit games, but they did have a No Limit game in session so I took a seat to check things out. I mostly folded pre-flop as I tried to get a feel for the players. They were mostly weak-passive, limping in to the pot and then checking and calling bets. The first hand I played I raised from early position with a pocket pair of sevens and got at least five callers. I flopped a third seven to make my set but there were two hearts on the board and with that many callers I knew a suck-out was coming. I bet strong and all but one player dropped out. Of course the next card out was a heart and while I knew I was beat I decided to call just so I could see what the guy was holding as it might be worth something down the road. Of course he had the ace of hearts and the case seven, also a heart. I didn't play many more hands as I decided that with this group I had to play ABC poker to establish a table image and then maybe I could make some moves later on. The poker gods were not kind to me this day as every one of the few hands I played improved on the flop but were always paired with some kind of draw against me. I flopped another set, but with three diamonds on the flop it was a guaranteed suck-out waiting to happen. I flop top two pair on another hand, but of course they're no good when you can't get the drawing hands to fold even to strong bets. I played for maybe two hours and left the table down about $200. If I had more time I think it would have been profitable to wait it out, but I had dinner reservations and didn't want to be late.
Sunday the sun finally broke out, but it was still a bit windy on the beach and the water was way too cold for swimming, although a few brave souls gave it a shot.
I am looking forward to many more beach trips this summer with both better weather and better luck at the tables.