OK, One More Gambling Joke

The IRS decides to audit Tim, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Tim shows up with his attorney. The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Tim. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Tim says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."

Tim removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Tim says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

The auditor can tell Tim isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Tim removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Tim's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Tim asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and piss into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Tim stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Tim's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. "Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Tim told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over an IRS official's desk and that you'd be happy about it."

Now That's a Poker Player

Two couples were playing poker one evening.
John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up he noticed that Bill's wife, Pam, was not wearing any underwear under her dress.
Shocked by this, John tried to sit back up and hit his head on the table.
He emerged red-faced and headed to the kitchen to get some refreshements. Bill's wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything you liked under there?"
Surprised by her boldness, John admitted that he indeed did see something he liked.
She said, "Well, you can have it, but it's going to cost you $100".
After taking a moment to consider the offer, John confirmed that he was indeed interested.
She tells him that her husband works on Fridays and since John didn't he should come by the house Friday around 2 pm.
When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house at the appointed time and after paying Pam the agreed upon $100, they went into the bedroom and consumated the deal.
John then quickly got dressed and left.
As usual, Bill came home from work on Friday around 6pm and upon entering the house asked his wife, "Did John come by the house this afternoon?"
With a lump in her throat Pam answered, "Why yes he did stop by for a few minutes".
Her heart nearly skipped a beat when he asked, " and did he give you $100?"
In terror she assumed he somehow found out about their meeting and after mustering her best poker face replied, "as a matter of fact he did give me $100".
With a satisfied look on his face Bill told his wife, "Good, I was hoping he did. John stopped by my office this morning and asked to borrow $100 from me. He promised me he'd stop by the house this afternoon and pay me back!"

Now that my friend's is a poker player!

A Brutal Final Hand

Last night I played in the Wallingford home game and things started out very nice. I have a pretty tight table image over there and that has allowed me to get away with some nice bluffs. I try not to push it too much and if I get caught I go back to my usual tight play, but last night it seemed like nobody wanted to tangle with me. I did hit a snag when I tried to get tricky and limped in (didn't raise pre-flop) with pocket aces and when two fours came on the flop I knew I had let a crappy hand in for free and it was going to cost me. I was right and almost left as we were only going to play for another hour. I decided to rebuy and within 30 minutes had more than doubled my stack again when the final hand came up. Of course, at the time I didn't know it would be the final hand.
I was in the small blind and called the bet with 3-4 offsuit. It looked like the big blind checked (I thought he motoioned with his hand) and the dealer thought so, too and even asked him at which time he decided to make a weak raise of $5. I quickly called as I had been able to get this player to dump hands off to me earlier. The flop came Q-2-3 all hearts. Now this is a dangerous board for 3-4 even if I had a heart, which I didn't. I bet anyway to see where I was at and the player called. Now I figure he probably has at least one heart and is looking to make his flush. The 4 of hearts comes on the turn and now I have two pair but I know he made his flush, I bet again thinking if he doesn't have the nut flush (Ace high) he might be worried by my bet. He called again so I know he has a flush, just not sure how strong it is and I have 4 outs to the full house anyway. The river is a black 3 making me a full house, threes full of fours, beating a flush, of course. I decide to bet strong and make him think I am bluffing, and there are actually only two possible cards he could be holding in his hand that can beat me. I bet out $40 and he pushes all in, I had to call and the pot is now about $400. Of course he turns over the only two cards that can beat my hand, the ace and five of hearts for a straight flush and the absolute nuts! I can't call this a bad beat as I shouldn't have played the hand in a raised pot (even a weakly raised pot like this one) and I shouldn't have been chasing a four-outer either. It was just a bad hand, it still sucks, but I did it to myself. Of course 99+% of the time I take that nice pot down so I can't really complain. Needless to say, not one of my better nights as far as final results go, but I actually played well for the session overall (not including this hand or the pocket aces earlier) and in the long run playing well and making the right decisions leads to positive results at year end which is what it is all about.

Life's a Beach

Even though it rained most of the time, my first trip to the beach this year was still enjoyable. I even managed to get a little sunburn on Sunday. On Friday night I had the ritualistic slices at Mack & Manko's and a little soft serve to top it off. Saturday was raining so I headed to AC and instead of hitting my usual haunts, The Taj and Borgata, I decided to check out the new poker room at the Hilton. It's a nice space and even has some windows, but the hosts have a lot to learn about running a poker room. They were spreading only low limit games, but they did have a No Limit game in session so I took a seat to check things out. I mostly folded pre-flop as I tried to get a feel for the players. They were mostly weak-passive, limping in to the pot and then checking and calling bets. The first hand I played I raised from early position with a pocket pair of sevens and got at least five callers. I flopped a third seven to make my set but there were two hearts on the board and with that many callers I knew a suck-out was coming. I bet strong and all but one player dropped out. Of course the next card out was a heart and while I knew I was beat I decided to call just so I could see what the guy was holding as it might be worth something down the road. Of course he had the ace of hearts and the case seven, also a heart. I didn't play many more hands as I decided that with this group I had to play ABC poker to establish a table image and then maybe I could make some moves later on. The poker gods were not kind to me this day as every one of the few hands I played improved on the flop but were always paired with some kind of draw against me. I flopped another set, but with three diamonds on the flop it was a guaranteed suck-out waiting to happen. I flop top two pair on another hand, but of course they're no good when you can't get the drawing hands to fold even to strong bets. I played for maybe two hours and left the table down about $200. If I had more time I think it would have been profitable to wait it out, but I had dinner reservations and didn't want to be late.
Sunday the sun finally broke out, but it was still a bit windy on the beach and the water was way too cold for swimming, although a few brave souls gave it a shot.
I am looking forward to many more beach trips this summer with both better weather and better luck at the tables.

My Birthday & Some Poker Stuff

Last Wednesday was my birthday and so I am a year older and evidently wiser. I celebrated throughout the Memorial Day weekend and now, one week later, the celebration of what could potentially be the next new national holiday is officially over. I managed to get some poker time into the celebration and had a nice win in the Wallingford game last Thursday night. I arrived a little late, just before 10 pm and there were eight players already seated and playing. I took a seat and I made my presence known on the very first hand I played, taking down a nice pot with trip sixes. Then I had one of those magical nights where everything just seems to go your way and it seems like there is no conscious effort involved. My chip stacks kept growing and I managed to stay out of trouble with lousy cards and still get paid off when I had a hand. At 2 am there were 3 players left including myself and we decided to cash out and call it a night. It was a good night!
This weekend I am heading down to the shore and will be playing some cards and hitting the beach. Summer is finally here!

Paris Hilton & her Bentley Update

The largest online poker site in the world has recently made an interesting offer to Paris Hilton, the former owner of a beautiful $200,000 Bentley automobile that she lost in a "crazy" game of poker at her parent's casino in Las Vegas. Party Poker is the largest and the first publicly traded online poker site. They went public on the London Stock Exchange last year ( remember, online poker is illegal in the US) making the three co-owners instant multi-billionaires. The founder, a 30-something female who started out in the 900 number sex line biz, sold a small portion of her holdings into the offering, cashing in for just over $3 billion (she still holds an estimated $3 billion+ in shares)! The site takes in something like $3 million a day!
Anyway, Partypoker.com has offered the Hilton heiress an opportunity to get her beloved Bentley back. They will buy the car back for her if she agrees to play Mike Sexton, the host of the Travel Channel's World Poker Tour, heads up and wins! No reply from Miss Hilton yet. As you all must be hanging on the edge of your seats, I will let you know as soon I hear word!


The pic is of Paris doing some chores around the parent's Bel Air estate to work off the $200k gambling loss.

Sweetnorthern Saint

My horse finally came in and finished in the money today at the Preakness. Too bad for Barbaro, the Kentucky Derby winner and favorite to win here, he fractured his leg seconds after leaving the starting gate and is mostly likely finished racing for good. Sweetnorthernsaint went off at 8-1 odds and came in second after Bernardino came from behind in the final strech to win it. I bet him "across the board" which means I had money on him finishing 1st, 2nd or 3rd, so I made a bit of loot, but not as much as I would have had he won it. Now its on to the Belmont to see if he can win for me there!

Biggest Poker Game Ever

The biggest poker game in history was recently played at the new Wynn resort in Las Vegas. Texas banker and billionaire Andy Beal took on the group of pro poker players that have formed what has been dubbed "The Corporation", in a heads up Texas Hold-em match with betting limits of $50,000 and $100,000. What that means is that minimum bets and raises are made in increments of $50,000 in the first two rounds of betting and $100,000 in the last two rounds of betting on each hand. Nearly every pot contested was for more than $500,000 and many pots reached into the low seven figures. The pros sat down at the table with $10 Million of their own chips, Beal sat with $20 Million. The game continued over three days and Phil Ivey played for the pros, who have pooled their money to take on the challenger. After three days when the match ended and the smoke had cleared in the Wynn's beautiful poker room, the results were tallied...Phil Ivey won $16.5 Million for the pros and Andy Beal was on a jet headed back to Dallas swearing to never play poker again!

Paris & Poker part deux

Looks like in addition to losing the family Bentley, Paris may have actually lost her shirt in that poker game, too!
I apologize in advance for posting this.

I Can't Wait For This!

My tastebuds are doing backflips as I eagerly anticipate the opening of the newest addition to Atlantic City's growing list of upscale, celebrity-chef restaurants!
Food Network Television personality and chef-owner of Mesa Grill and Bolo, Bobby Flay will soon premier his first steak house venture at The Borgata Casino Hotel & Spa. Bobby Flay Steak is an 11,000-squarefoot space that merges sleek, modern design elements with natural materials such as leather, cast glass and rough-hewn woods. It is scheduled to open at the end of June! I have always enjoyed his Chillin' & Grillin' and Boy Meets Grill shows and got to see him in action when I ate at The Mesa Grill in NYC. The food was incredible and when they brought the dessert tray to the table I couldn't decide what I wanted so I ordered one of everything! Of course I reluctantly shared with the others at the table.
So here's the low down on the new digs:
Flay designed the chic and comfortable steakhouse to complement the exciting backdrop of The Borgata. Guests enter through an entryway lined floor-to-ceiling in red leather, which then reveals a gleaming circular brass cage. Design elements such as hand-stitched leather and rough-hewn woods instill the essence of a traditional Western steakhouse, but are updated with modern twists. Positioned between the bar and the main dining room, the Lobster Bar will feature a handmade, cast-glass bar front with built-in lobster tanks. The dining room houses four towering wine displays and a dramatic ceiling composed of wood panels arranged to create an undulating landscape. Bobby Flay Steak will seat 150 people, and includes two private dining rooms perfect for special occasions... (like the next blogger gettogether!).
Flay is excited to present the classic steakhouse fare he remembers enjoying as a child in New York City as well as new dishes that incorporate his famous grilling techniques and signature Southwestern fare. Bobby Flay Steak will feature the finest steaks paired with zesty rubs and seasonal ingredients, as well as the Lobster Barwhich will offer Oyster & Lobster Shooters, a smooth Lobster-Smoked Tomato Bisque and spicy Lobster & Crispy Squid Salad with hot pepper dressing. As a nod to Borgata's close proximity to the City of Brotherly Love, Flay has created a Philadelphia-Style Cheese Steak, a perfectly grilled rib-eye, hanger steak, New York strip or filet mignon with provolone cheese sauce and roasted mushrooms and onions. If I can't make it to the grand opening I will be dining there soon after!

Weekend Update

Well, I had half of the winning exacta numbers for the Derby on Saturday, but of course that and $9 will get you a beer at Piccasso's. Barbaro, the favorite in the race, won it handily and looks like he might be a contender for the Triple Crown as he appeared to have even more to give as he crossed the finish line. My pick, Sweetnorthernsaint, came in seventh after making an early run for the lead. If you had played the winning Superfecta numbers (the order of finish of the first four horses) you would have won $42,000 for every dollar wagered!
On the poker front, I was eliminated in the 6th level of the Borgata tournament on Friday. Things had been looking good for the first few hours and then I played a big pot with Ace-King and lost 90% of my chips when my hand didn't improve versus my opponent's pair of nines. Left with only $675 I moved all-in on the very next hand with Ace-nine and actually had a chance to quadruple up with four players in the pot. Although I caught an ace on the flop, I lost on the river to another player with Ace-Jack. It's always disappointing when you are eliminated from a tournament, but the reality is I just haven't played in any live tournaments in a while and maybe I was a little unprepared. My table had several very aggressive players who made it hard to enter any pot without a decent hand. Of course by the time I figured out the crap they were raising with it was too late. I love the tournaments because of the competition and the opportunity for big prize pools and of course the prestige that goes with playing in televised events, but I know my strength is playing cash games and I should focus on that and let the tournament results come as they may.
I played in three Sit-n-Go tournaments online Sunday, those are single table events with nine players. The winner gets 50% of the money, 2nd gets 30% and third gets 20%. The buy-in for these was $50 so a first place finish paid $225. I won two and finished third in another so that did help to ease my pain a bit. The final tournament I started playing an hour before the start of The Soprano's so I was a little worried it might not finish in time. With only minutes to spare I got down to heads up with my final opponent at the table and with $12k in chips versus his less than $2k, it was over fairly quickly and all I missed was the theme song!

Derby Update

OK, looks like I had some premature info on the post positions. Sweetnorthernsaint is going off in post # 11 (not 13) and Barbaro is going off in the #8 post (not 4). So my picks are the same, post positions are different. The exacta bet would now be 11-8 boxed (boxed means you win if the top two finishers are either horse, ie: finish is 11-8 or 8-11). I am leaving now for the Borgata to register for the event and get settled in. I'll have an update for you all on Monday!

Kentucky Derby

I'm going to go out on a limb and post my Kentucky Derby winning bets early. Unless things change between now and Saturday at 6:04 PM, I will be betting on #13 Sweetnorthernsaint to win and I may also make an exacta bet of 13-4 boxed (Sweetnorthernsaint and Barbaro). I'll be placing my bets while I am at the Borgata on Friday.

May Day

Hard to believe that it is May already. After the backlash I received about the puff piece on Paris Hilton, I will take a moment to write about myself. I have been gearing up for the Ultimate Poker Weekend at Borgata that starts this Friday, Cinqo de Mayo. The first event I am playing starts at 4pm Friday, and there are 3 more to choose from on Saturday with the main event being held on Sunday morning. I played in four online tournaments the past week and cashed in 3 with two 3rd place finishes. I have been hitting the books, as well, consulting some of the better reads from my vast poker library. It never hurts to go back and review some of the great strategy books.
Two of the events this weekend are rated so if I cash you will get to see my name in lights in the Cardplayer rankings again. The main event is called The Ultimate Super Satellite and will award as many $50,000 prize packages as the prize pool will allow. I expect there to be at least 6 prize packages awarded with some lesser amount of cash for a few other players. The package includes $10k in cash and 4 $10k buy-ins to upcoming major events at the Mandalay Bay, The World Series of Poker Main Event, Foxwoods World Poker Finals and the Boragata Poker Open. The Borgata buy-in is not transferable, but the others can be sold. I would most likely sell the Mandalay Bay seat and play the three, pocketing the extra $10k in cash.
I apologize to you all again for publishing the piece on Paris Hilton.

Paris Loses Bentley in Poker Game

After recently telling Bluff Magazine "I'm obsessed with poker. It's my favorite game now. We love it. We play at tournaments in Vegas. I'm really lucky in Vegas - I always win!", Paris went and lost the family Bentley in a poker game at none other than the Hilton family's own casino! She lost the nearly $200k vehicle in what she calls a "bad" game. Maybe she should just stick to making those videos. The papparazzi were stunned as she handed the keys to the winner and her parents are so furious they have banned her from gambling in the family casino! Evidently the house doesn't always have the advantage!

Lack of Poker Posts

I think I need to discuss exactly why there has been a lack of poker posts recently (maybe to your delight). I have to tell you about the worst beat I've ever suffered at a poker table in my history of playing the game. I was in a full cash game in a casino, no limit hold-emwith high stakes (for me anyway). Blinds of $25/50 and I had about $8k to start out with (far too big a game for my bankroll, but c'est la vie). After a few hours my bankroll had swelled to about $35k, one of the best runs of my career. The final hand came so quickly it still gives me the chills when I think about it. I was dealt the ace and queen of spades in early position and made a nice raise before the flop. I was called by three players and we saw the flop four-handed. On the flop were two spades, one of which was the jack, also the highest card on the board. So I flopped a draw to the absolute nut flush and I had two overcards to anything that was out there. I put out almost a pot- sized bet and was called by two players. The turn was the six of spades, locking up my nut flush. I bet out again and was called by one player and then raised by the third player. I was hoping he had a lesser flush or a similar strong hand that he would be drawing dead on the river with. The pot was now over $30k. I thought for a moment and re-raised all in with my last $25k or so. The second player dropped immediately and the third player went into the tank contemplating a call. When he finally called I actually felt so good and turned over the nuts as he slowly turned over two pair, a jack and a six. Now what card do you think came on the river? I'll give you a hint, there were only two of them left in the deck. A total of four cards out of the 46 possible remaining cards that could help him and he hits one! Worse than a 10 to 1 dog and he gets the miracle six on the river to make a full house and beat my ace high flush! The pot of close to $80k was pushed to him and I was left sitting there with my heart in my throat and nothing but a bare patch of felt in front of me. I was crushed emotionally on that one and that is why the poker posts have been lacking and I am working on re-building my bankroll as the World Series of Poker is rapidly approaching and I need to make plans for Vegas this summer. Next Friday, Cinqo de mayo, I will be playing at the Borgata again in their Ultimate Weekend of Poker event. A good performance there should boost my confidence again and get me back in the game. Until then you might get a few more twinkie posts.

Deep Fried Twinkies

I want to take a moment to discuss one of the most outrageous deserts I have ever had the pleasure of indulging in. A Deep fried Twinkie! I came across these incredible concoctions on a trip to Vegas. Across the street from Binion's Horseshoe and catecorner to the Golden Nugget is a little hole-in-the-wall slot parlor called Mermaids, and in the back, where you can also indulge in a glorious $2 foot-long chili-cheese dog you will find the most decadent marriage of artery-clogging, deep fat frying and a sugary, cream filled confection! If you've somehow managed your way through life to this point without ever having tasted one, I suggest you put this at the top of your "to do before I die" list and get with the program.

Big Brother VS Poker

Since 1995, when the first online gambling sites opened their doors for business, legislators have unsuccessfully tried to stop the unprecedented growth in online gaming. Even though online gaming revenues are in excess of $12 billion annually, all these legislators can think of is how to stop it instead of thinking about how to regulate it. Previous legislation that was unsuccessfully proposed actually suggested that banks and financial institutions should "police" their clients and prevent them from sending money to online gaming sites. How insane is that concept? Would you want your bank inquiring as to what you are doing with your hard earned money on deposit at their bank? The newest legislation again attempts to stop the flow of money to these sites by proposing legislation that would prohibit online gaming sites from accepting money from financial institutions. Only one problem smart guys...these sites are all based offshore (online gaming is illegal in the USA) so they are not subject to these laws!! How do these people even get elected in the first place? Anyway, there are an estimated 70 million poker players in the US and if even a fraction of them made their voices heard it could have an impact. I sent the following e-mail to Sentaor Rick Santorum to express my thoughts on the subject and actually got a reply (probably canned, but what can I expect?).

Senator, I am writing to urge you to oppose pending legislation that would limit the rights of individuals to play poker online. Currently, there are two bills in the House, H.R. 4411 introduced by Rep. James Leach (R-IA) and H.R. 4777 introduced by Rep. Robert Goodlatte (R-VA). And in the Senate, Jon Kyl (R-AZ) is pushing similar legislation that he wants to introduce.

As an avid poker player, I feel strongly that these bills and any other legislation that deny Americans the right to play a game of skill such as poker on the Internet, seriously and egregiously violate my personal freedoms.

More than 70 million people today enjoy poker. And while most play at home, in taverns or poker clubs, many enjoy this game of skill with friends and family on the Internet. The possibility of the federal government stripping away this right to play online is very troubling to me.

These bills trample the freedoms of online poker players and represent a slippery slope that could lead to the federal government denying citizens the right to play poker in offline venues. The bills also hypocritically make exceptions for certain types of gambling, including internet state lotteries, placing online bets for horse races and select fantasy sports, while prohibiting poker, which is objectively a skill game.

Equally troubling, though, are the bill’s enforcement mechanisms. All three proposals contain banking enforcement provisions which would extend a “know your customer” relationship well beyond what I want my bankers to know about my financial affairs. This regulation would require bankers to monitor my on-line purchases and even review my checks. Like most Americans, I choose my bank, and deposit my paycheck for safekeeping, not for them to monitor my withdrawals, funds transfer or even individual checks. These provisions put the government too deep into my pocketbook. According to Forbes’ magazine there are 5 FBI agents assigned to internet gambling, I demand that American taxpayers know the full cost of enforcing a ban on my rights to play poker on-line.

Separately, in Rep. Goodlatte’s legislation, Internet service providers (ISPs) are forced to remove gambling related hyperlinks upon court order. Such mandates require ISPs to remove or disable access to online sites that the government deems violations. This is censorship of the Internet, plain and simple. Congress rightly criticized China for blocking the free flow of information to its citizens via the Internet, and now Goodlatte’s bill deserves similar scrutiny.

From average citizens to presidents, generals, Members of Congress and Supreme Court justices, Americans have been playing poker for centuries, making it a rich part of our cultural heritage. Today, the evolution of game on the Internet should not be restricted by overarching government interference, and simply by putting the word “internet” in front of poker does not make it wrong.

I urge you to take these concerns into consideration and oppose H.R. 4411, H.R. 4777 and the Kyl proposal that will make outlaws of poker players who enjoy the game online.

I think there are much more serious issues that these legislators should be expending their time and energy on. This is NOT one of those issues!

Russia Calf Shoes

Just like CNN, I too have been thinking of picking up a pair of new shoes. Not just any shoes mind you, but one of the most distinctive shoes in the world! The Russia Calf shoes that are made by New & Lingwood from London's Jermyn Street. What makes these shoes so unique you ask? These shoes are made from a limited cache of reindeer hides that were found aboard a ship that sank off the English coast in 1786. They lay at the bottom of the ocean for nearly 200 years until the wreck was discovered in 1973. Despite their prolonged submersion in salt water, the hides were as good as ever. The reason is that the hides had been processed by a secret technique that was lost after the Russian Revolution, and which made pre-revolutionary Russian leathers world famous for both their water resistance as well as their beauty.
First the hides were cured in baths of rye or oat flour and yeast , they were then hand finished and soaked in wood liquor. They were then hand-curried while still wet and soaked in seal oil and birch tan oil , which gives the leather its distinctive, rich aroma. Now these shoes don't have an anti microbial feature and they aren't odor resistant, so it may be difficult to justify the $1550 price tag, but then again that's a mere round of blinds and antes in a decent no limit game!

Where in the World is Chuck?

Since my Nigerian 419 scammer is nowhere to be found recently, I have turned my attention to another pressing matter; trying to find out what happened to Chuck? Just where in the world is Chuck? I have run down a few leads with no success. The first clue led me to Seattle, Washington, land of eternal sunshine, where I found Chuck B. was vice president of sales and marketing for Larry's Markets, the cash strapped grocery chain that just laid off 70% of its work force. This guy had a full head of hair so I knew right away I had missed my mark.
My next clue led me to Los Angeles where I found Chuck B. was a self-employed real estate developer who made a questionable donation of $1200 to John Kerry's presidential campaign fund. We all know Chuck is a devout Libertarian and would never have supportrd such a worthless cause. Since I was already in California I followed a clue down to San Diego where I found Chuck B. at a reunion of the Marine Corps Flying Tiger Squadron, but since this was a Vietnam era reunion, I quickly ruled out our beloved Chuck. I hopped back across the continent to Naugatuck, Connecticut to what I was sure would finally be success; Chuck B. was a licensed member of a national network of socially responsible investment consultants. Right up his alley, I thought, but alas, no luck! My final clue led me back to California where I was saddened to discover that Chuck was the former president of the Santa Cruz County Horseman's Association and had died in a myserious mountain biking incident that is still under investigation. I gave up my search there and am asking you for your help in finding Chuck.
Just where in the world is Chuck? Does anyone out there have a clue?